Coloring Outside the Lines

Change is a difficult thing to grasp. Going from one season to another seemed easy when it wasn’t packing up your Jeep Liberty and crossing your fingers that all your junk would fit and your cat would sit still, let alone if this transition in your life was going to go smoothly. Moving is something that I had dreamed of doing ever since people started throwing college applications in my face. I knew there was more to this world than high school (thank you Lord) and small town living. The fear of making a wrong decision, or simply not having the means to do so, made me second guess myself numerous times. My mind was filled with fear, and if my emotional breakdowns weren’t already a good enough sign, it was obvious that I needed some serious intercession. It wasn’t until I was able to find the secret place, that I was confident enough to say I had made a decision that I wouldn’t regret. God was able to speak so clearly in a time of desperation as I cried out for answers. I knew that I needed God’s direction, but most importantly I knew that I needed to give Him every hope and every dream and come to a place of complete surrender. I found myself thanking the Lord for knowing me, protecting me, and keeping hold of my heart. I felt like I was taken on a journey. A journey where, at the end, I had fallen in love with Jesus all over again. I was reminded of his faithfulness and His truth. I was reminded about who I am and who I am called to be. I am called to live a life of purity, and joy, and love, and obedience. I am a daughter of the most high king. I cannot be shaken.

God is faithful to answer our prayers and to hear our cries. He opens doors and, thankfully, closes others. And so it goes, I have been driven into the next season of my life (literally). I have wanted to cry, nervously laugh, scream and shout, and complain so much this week. It’s hard moving into a new home. It’s hard finding a job. It’s hard thinking about going to a new school. It’s hard leaving everything you have ever known behind. And it’s really hard not having the friends and family you had back home only be a 5-minute drive away. But it’s reassuring knowing that it’s the people that I miss the most. Don’t get me wrong, I miss the patisserie and my earl grey tea, but nothing will ever beat my peeps; my squad.

I have been nothing but pushed out of my comfort zone this week. Whether it was attending a new church, hopelessly searching for motivation, or trying so hard to remember that my grandma recycles and I shouldn’t throw away that water bottle that I just drank, I’m being stretched. To my surprise, the beautiful thing is, it’s in the best way possible. 

I can’t confirm that everything good happens outside of your comfort zone. But if there is one thing that I know, it’s that the Lord wants us to put all our trust in Him, put our small faith in Him, color outside the lines, and He will be there with us in the discomfort and uncertainty. God knows more than I could ever know. All I can ask for is His will to be done in my life and that I don’t let myself get in the way of it. Perhaps this is the moment for which I have been created.



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