In the busyness of life it can be easy to forget about some things. Breakfast, your keys, your sanity, or say, your blog. I’m constantly writing down (or rather typing into my phone) little snippets here and there, but I haven’t had the chance to truly collect them and create something good and worth sharing.
So after about two weeks, here you go. A collection of my chaotic thoughts:
I am writing this to New Theory by Washed Out (a favorite at the moment), and, ironically, I have a new theory. Or rather, I have had an epiphany:
God created us with the intention that we were going to change. He expects us to go through our little lives growing and he doesn’t want us to settle for who we were yesterday.
I was thinking about my dreams last week and how they are constantly evolving.
When I was 8 years old I wanted to be a veterinarian because of how much I loved animals (cats, actually).
When I was in middle school I dreamed of becoming a renowned fine artist who painted for a living.
That dream continued throughout high school up until my sophomore year when I decided I really wanted to work for a magazine (and when people told me I was going to starve if I tried to make a living off of painting).
At the beginning of my senior year I thought that Vogue could be cool.
Fortunately, it’s not as cool to me anymore.
A year ago I randomly wanted to make band posters.
Last month I thought Everlane could be promising considering it was a design and fashion combination.
Last week I wanted to work for Kinfolk (I still do. It’s the best magazine out there).
Yesterday I wanted to work for Frankie.
Today I decided I want to not just work for Darling, but write for them.
And tomorrow… Well, who knows what tomorrow will bring.
There’s no way of telling.
Call me crazy, I’m just a dreamer.
After scanning through all the dreams I have had I realized the ones I have now are the ones that have stuck with me the longest.
Working in art has been a dream for over 4 years.
Working for publications has been a dream for about 2 now, and I’m convinced that dream isn’t going away anytime soon.
I finally have dreams that are risky. So, incredibly risky.
They involve me putting faith in someone other than myself. Because frankly, if I dont, they definitely won’t happen.
What seems unrealistic to other people, seems worth the hard work and effort to get there to me. With hard work and obedience, you can easily make the impossible, possible.
I took a personal field trip to Portland State the other day to meet with an advisor (big thanks to her for being one of the sweetest and most helpful ladies) and really straighten my educational plan out, and I must say, with complete and utter honesty, I am finally starting to feel a sort of peace. I’m not so much anxious anymore as I am excited. I have a better handle on things. Most days I’m pumped about getting to go to school. Unlike high school where you dread every single day of the week getting up and going to a place that has grown very old to you, I enjoy college.
It’s a completely different world. A world where I have a lot more responsibilities and decisions to make. But also where their is more freedom to choose. What most people are calling: “The Real World.”
I’ve been told that being kind to yourself in seasons of transition is important. It can be challenging, but it is positively rewarding. And it makes me think of that ridiculously stupid but relevant quote: “Do something today that your future self will thank you for tomorrow.”
I told you.
But actually true.
I know that I want to end up being a person that I’m proud of being.
And let’s not forget a person who is living proof of God’s faithfulness and redemptive love.
The last thing you should do in a season where life is hard on you, is be hard on yourself.
Remember, you’re constantly changing. God purposely puts us in positions where he wants us to grow and become more like Him. I am hesitant to say this but, I’m finding myself more and more like Jesus in this season more than any. Though at times I can have the worst attitude, I know my heavenly father is there watching over me with grace, willing to correct me with love and kindness, because that’s who he is.
Being thankful can be hard when it seems like we have little.
But a word of advice: try finding happiness in the little things God has blessed you with. Because I’m learning there is always something to be thankful for.