Over the last month, as I’ve sat and read God’s word, I have never felt more adorned in grace — full of excitement to walk in this life I live.
The joy that comes in spending time with the Lord is irreplaceable. As I lift my voice, songs arise out of my spirit. Songs that sing of God’s goodness and of His worthiness and of His ability to never fail. Songs of triumph and thanksgiving. Prayers I’ve never spoken have left my lips. Words I didn’t before see have popped out from the pages of my bible.
Obtaining a hunger to read and immerse myself in the word has been a hard pursuit for me. But I reached a point where I realized I was really tired. And I was sick of getting attacked with lies from the enemy. I knew a lot of God’s promises, but I didn’t really know them. I wanted to live in them. I wanted to soak everything the bible had to say up so I could use it as a weapon against the enemy. I wanted to declare truth over my situations and speak life into myself (and others) in order to believe what the Lord has in store for my life. I found an urgency to read. An urgency to read truth when negativity surrounds me. An urgency to fill myself daily for the sake of my future. To be a better friend, a better daughter, the best future wife, and a humble woman of God.
I longed for the bible to be a stronghold in my life.
I needed more Jesus. I wanted to be consumed with Him and nothing else.
Enough was enough.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed. For His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness! I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him; it is good to wait quietly… When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions. Wait for hope to appear.”
L A M E N T A T I O N S 3 : 2 2 – 2 9
You know what’s really cool? I get to turn my heart to a God who wants to speak to me, but a God who also wants me to dwell in silence and long to hear Him. I think silence in the presence of God is yet another outward expression of obedience. It’s an act of turning unnecessary attention from ourselves onto the Lord — the one who is more than worthy of it all. Our time, our praises, and our treasures. Because of God’s endless compassion and mercy, and my willingness to merely listen, I can freely move through life’s crazy circumstances. My mind no longer focuses on the circumstances but rather the one who is going to reveal to me the irrelevance of them.
I can’t help but lie in silence before my heavenly Father. Because of His goodness. Because of His faithfulness. Because of how worthy He is. Because I’m so hopeless on my own. No words could ever suffice to how thankful I am for what He did and the hope He supplies me.
Of course I will wait quietly. Of course I will be still in the waiting. Because in the waiting lies the fullness of the promises God has for each one of us — God’s all about the process, not the finish line.