I don’t fully understand anxiety. And to be honest, I assume I never will.
I never thought I could get so worried about little things, meeting at a social gathering, messing up or spilling a drink at work, a headache, a muscle spasm, not waking up on time to go to the gym, or forgetting to dry my laundry. The list could go on when it comes to the last few days.
Though I get 0% of why anxiety has to be something people battle, something that is so real (and so dumb), I do fully understand the power of peace. God gets to have full authority over our thoughts and our minds, the hard part is getting ourselves to believe it on a daily basis.
Instead of spending my time and energy thinking of why anxiety is present in my life, what if I spent that time furthering my passion to know Jesus? To know and understand his ways in my life. Because he is ever-present. He is never failing.
I think God is to us what water is to the human body — a necessity to sustain. I’ve learned I can’t live the life God has for me if I go more than 1 day without spending time with him. When I do choose to not spend quality time with the Lord, when I start to feel comfortable, that’s when anxiety begins to settle in.
Years ago I could go months without spending intentional time with the Lord and not feel anxious. I lived comfortably in my bondage. Comfortably within my own will.
But now things are completely different.
The presence of God is so impactful and capable of changing you that you can’t live peacefully apart from it. He is our only hope. Just like water is a source of strength for our body, God is the primary source our soul needs to function.
The negativity, fear, sickness, insecurities, and bitterness I witness throughout my days is far too great. Thankfully, God will always be greater than the things that surround us and sometimes drown us.
There’s a pretty convicting verse in Proverbs 18 that says: “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment,” sparking in me a desire to turn to God more than I already do.
God recognizes our imperfections. He recognizes all the things we struggle with. He sees our occasional lack of faithfulness. He sees our want to turn to isolation. Our want to do things our way. But just beyond that is deeper relationship with him. Greater intimacy in seeing we choose him in the midst of messing up and battling strongholds.
Lately it’s seemed like life was harder than usual — but I asked myself, how am I spending my time? Is what I’m doing right now furthering His kingdom? I looked up from my computer screen, closed my pointless television show, and grabbed my bible as fast as I could manage as thoughts started to enter my mind that weren’t kind enough to receive an invitation.
I’m learning joy and fellowship are my greatest weapons apart from the word of God. Gathering people up to surround you and to stand with you makes all the difference. God desires to see us band together to overcome the things we face. We should never be alone.
It says in Ecclesiastes: “A cord of three strands is not easily broken.”
In Matthew: “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
And in 1 Thessathonians: “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.”
I discern the Lord is pleased when things like that click in our minds. When we choose him over ourselves. When we, through our faith, devotion, and adoration, become so reliant on him, we simply can’t live disconnected from our source of strength — our one true hope.
“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.”
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